New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
