Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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