i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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