Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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