I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
