I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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