In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
