dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
