Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize