i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
