I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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