Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
