Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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