Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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