Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
