we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
