I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize