i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
