He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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