Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize