i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Pooping to opera.
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