We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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