If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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