I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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