He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
