woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
