I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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