a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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