your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
