Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
