I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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