A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
