some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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