I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
