dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
