Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
