it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
