I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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