Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
