I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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