So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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