just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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