Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
