His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
40s are totally the cure
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
