its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
