every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
