I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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