Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Me. At least after what I've been through.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize