dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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