ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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