I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
