ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
