We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
