there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
