just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
