i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
