she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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