Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
