I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
