You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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