I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
