I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
