google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
