did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
