She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
