dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
