Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize