Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
