This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
