We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
