It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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