She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
