Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
