Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
