i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
