Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I understand Curling. That high.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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