What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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