his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
where are you?
Hypothermia
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
